LFW #fashion #shutupho

I overheard two girls talking on the tube the other day.

Shit_Girl_1: "Deciding what to wear for London Fashion Week was LITERALLY the most stressful thing I have ever experienced."

Shit_Girl_2: "Ya. #fashion #sartorial #bestrongtobestylish

Shit_Girl_1: "You're so right. Thank God I have your hashtags to keep me sane."

I thought to myself. Girl please. I WILL END YOU.

As I heard the train coming I played 'Saved ya life'* with Shit_Girl_1.

Safe to say London Fashion Week was no longer the most stressful thing she had ever experienced anymore.

Silly ho.

* 'Saved ya life' is a great game, which has on average a 99.5% survival rate.

instructions to play:

1/ Identify target on edge of train track/high bridge/mountain top, etc.

2/ Pretend to push said target off of train track/high bridge/mountain top, etc.

3/ Just as target begins to see their life flash before their eyes, grab their arm, pull them back and shout "SAVED YA LIFE." Continue to laugh and laugh as they come to terms with their own mortality.

Note: If timed perfectly, and you grab target back as their life has JUST begun flashing before their eyes, then it is possible to scar target with the image of their baby self being pushed through their mother's vajayjay. That is what happened to Shit_Girl_1. Poor shit bitch.